The Vincent Price is Right!

The great Vincent Price endorsed so many products over the years that it's difficult to list them all. I'm sure there are some that I've missed. If so, let me know in the comments below. 

Here is a selection of some of my favorite Vincent ads with commentary. 

1. Time-Life Books: Enchanted World (circa 1985) 

These were the sort of books that gave me the chills as a child. Now, I can't get enough of this sort of supernatural shocker. Vincent Price offers us a guided tour of the realms of knights, witches, wizards, and night creatures. 

This commercial, along with Time-Life's Mysteries of the Unknown, used to run late at night. Both would scare the snot out of me as a child. As a teen I acquired a taste for the paranormal, via The X-Files. Now I'm in the process of putting together complete sets of these books. Fun, spooky stuff. 

There were multiple commercials for both series of books. Mysteries of the Unknown deserves a separate commentary. As for now, I've included a second Enchanted World commercial. One that features the voice of Vincent. More commentary on these books will follow. 

2. HANGMAN! 

My family had this board game from the legendary game-makers Milton Bradley. It was more enjoyable by the presence of the Master of Menace himself on the box! Not only did this game feature a photo of Vincent in refined cowboy get-up, he also starred in the commercials! 

Ignore the Double Mint twins, there Hangman ad is posted above. 

3. Peter Paul Chocolate: Peanut Butter...NO JELLY!
I don't recall this candy bar at all. But I'm willing to bet you it was the most delicious candy bar ever!
  

4. Tilex! 

I remember these commercials vividly. So much in fact that still use Tilex to this day. If it was good enough for Mr. Price, it's good enough for me. Well, that, and my bathroom is like a laboratory/surgery...whenever I shave. 

Only one man could pull off the ascot. Well, two men; Fred from Scooby-Doo, and Vincent Price! And Vincent Price was in...The Thirteen Ghosts of Scooby-Doo! It comes full circle through the knot of the ascot! 

5. The Vincent Price Collection 

Sears once hired Vincent Price to curate a collection of curious art. The idea was to have the well-known art connoisseur bring art to the masses. Price himself selected, cataloged, and evaluated the various works of art that would bare his name. He also taught Sears employees how to sell these paintings. Yes, Vincent starred in the sales training film! No actor alive today would do that. Mr. Price loved art in all its forms. Making sure that everyone could afford art to enrich the their daily lives was his mission statement. 

I especially like the parts in the film were Price points to a bawdy painting, and then says, "Trust me, it's okay." Sensibilities have changed so much since then. I can't think of a department store today that would offer a Picasso print at bargain prices. 
 

7. Polaroid video tape 
I remember VHS. Ah, those days of messing with the tracking wheel to get the best picture. The scent of fresh magnetic tape. And the sound of said tape sliding into the VCR. While DVDs and Blu-Ray offer better picture and sound quality, VHS offered us grit. But, to reduce the grit one would have to use head-cleaner tapes. 

Here, Vincent demonstrates the need for a clean VCR. Never be haunted by dirty heads...ever! Even ones you lopped off this morning in the pit...and the pendulum! 

I would love to watch movies in a setting like this! Well, maybe just during October, during the time of...well, you know.

8. Stay Alive! 
Vincent shows us how to play this most unique game. Once again, he endorsed another awesome product from Milton Bradley. I'm curious about how this game was played. I've not seen it before. Ah, see! The advert still works! 

There's more to come. After all...you can't keep a good ghoul down! 

Text copyright Riley Joyce 2015 

The products featured are copyright their respective owners. 

Deep-Sixing Pluto!

The following is my NSET (Natural Sciences) 111 paper. Or, as I called that class, NSET 2: Astronomical Boogaloo. The class covered more than astronomy. Biology, vulcanology, evolutionary biology, and environmental sciences. Astronomy is the one I'm more familiar with, so I chose a topic based in that field.

I decided to write about why Pluto was declassified as a planet. As you'll see, it really isn't a planet. It's more of a "dirty snowball," a comet that wasn't given proper fuel. I won't spoil the ending. Instead, I'll allow the research to speak for itself. 

Deep-Sixing Pluto—How the Little Guy Lost His Planetary Status

In 2006 The International Astronomical Union made a decision that has impacted both astronomy, and our view of the universe. They gave Pluto the sailor's elbow, and declassified our former ninth planet to mere “Dwarf Planet” status. This was a controversial decision, one that has lead many to say, “How dare they?” But it has also lead astronomers to ask the question, “What constitutes a planet?” Originally, the word planet was simply the Greek word for “wanderer.” But now, a new debate has been created as to the exact definition of planethood. How this is defined will shape our view of the universe.

Tombaugh in 1930. Among his accomplishments Tombaugh was awarded the Rittenhouse medal in 1990. 

Pluto was discovered by astronomer Clyde Tombaugh in 1930. Initially, Tombaugh was on the hunt for a presumed gas giant, that was believed to affect Neptune's orbit. Since then Astronomers have learned that such a spare gas giant does not exist. However, Tombaugh did find something else in the process. He found a spec that was moving across the sky at night. It tread step by step, while the stars appeared static. Tombaugh recognized it as another one of these classically-named “wanderers” in the night sky. The result was that soon a new planet was added to our solar system; the first to be discovered by an American. It was dubbed “Pluto,” after the Greek lord of the Underworld. And its distance from Sol, our sun, was such that it was thought to be an icy and barren world.

As it turns out Pluto is indeed icy and barren. Its surface contains frozen methane (natural gas), nitrogen, and even carbon monoxide. Its average temperature is 25K (Kelvin, the coldest temperature scale on record). It also has polar ice caps, much like our own Earth, and our closest neighbor, Mars. However, The temperatures on Pluto fluctuate greatly, yet they are still incredibly frigid. It has often been depicted as a tiny blue dot, with the distant rays of the Sun barely reaching it. It is a lone wanderer, an orphan in a sky full of giants.

When I was a child, I was taught that our solar system had nine planets. But as time went on astronomers began to doubt this. Pluto sits in a region of space known as The Kuiper Belt—a dense band of asteroids and similar objects. It extends from outside of Neptune's orbit at 30 AU (Astronomical units. Codified by the distance from The Sun to planets) to about 1000 AU. The Kuiper Belt functions as both an umbilical, and a nursery. It the birthplace of comets, but also the afterbirth of the Solar System. It is where the ice, dust, and rock that made planets such as our own can be found. It is the leftover material of worlds set adrift. It is a reminder of our past, long before Earth had finished accretion. As early as 1992 objects far larger than Pluto were sighted in this region. Yet, they were also not classified as planets. Why is this so? As it turns out, when it comes to planets, size does matter.

Pluto was originally thought to be nearly the size of Earth. It was also believe to be the possible cause of a perceived eccentricity in Uranus' orbit. But with further observation it was discovered to only be 2300 kilometers in diameter. It could easily fit inside Earth several times over. It would boggled the mind to think how many times it could fit inside of a gas giant such as Jupiter. Further more, its mass far lower than Earth's own moon. It also turned out that the so-called anomalies in Uranus solar orbit were just computational errors. Indeed, size does matter when it comes to planets. To put it bluntly, Pluto just doesn't measure up. It's not tall enough to ride the planetary roller coaster.

Another reason for the mislabeling of Pluto as a planet was lack of knowledge. Little was known about the Kuiper Belt in 1930. Even less was known about the objects beyond Neptune. These so-called trans-Neptunian objects, such as Eris and Makemake are better understood now. But in Tombaugh's time telescopes just weren't sensitive enough to find them. This was an era before anyone had literally set foot in space—let alone sent a space-based telescope such as Hubble. The tools available to Tombaugh at the time were not too dissimilar from those used by Galileo and Sir Edmund Halley. Telescopes, a keen eye, mathematical equations, and a lot of patience were the astronomer's equipment until the space age.

Image from NASA's Hubble Space Telescope in 2012. Pluto and its moons. 

Planetary politics also plays a role in why some astronomers won't let Pluto stay in the underworld. NASA has undertaken some very necessary, and expensive, missions in recent years. They range anywhere from Mars colonization projects, to the exploration of Europa (one of Saturn's moons). Most recently NASA sent Rosetta, a robotic hitchhiker that thumbed a ride on a comet, the first mission of its kind. Despite being a success with that mission, and others, NASA has to continue to justify its funding. Congressional purse-strings for a mission like New Horizons (the probe that will observe Pluto) would be firmly drawn shut if Pluto were just a mere hunk of ice. The mission will cost NASA $700 million, and take over a decade. With a bill like that it's no wonder that self-interest will play a factor in future fiscal decisions. The sad truth of scientific funding, and the perpetual lack there-of, comes to the fore. It's not only a matter of prestige for NASA. It is also a matter of job security for a multitude of engineers, physicists, and launch crews.

The final nail in Pluto's coffin (yes, pun intended, as Pluto was lord of the underworld) was its own orbit. The International Astronomical Union used this as their criteria to define a planet. It wasn't Pluto's distance from our Sun, as such. It was more a case of Pluto chugging along with little fuel in its engine. As codified by the IAU a planet must “Clear its orbital neighborhood.” To explain further I must first give the IAU's full definition of a planet. Three criteria were chosen for this now technical definition. Ancient Greek philosophers like Aristotle would have loved to argue this definition, just as astronomers and the public do today.

First, a planet must orbit a star (not another planet). This is why large moons like Titan and Europa are not considered planets. They orbit Saturn, not the sun.

Second, it must attain hydrostatic equilibrium. This means that it has a mass large enough to sustain gravity, and accreted into a spherical shape (planets just aren't square or rectangular).

Third, and this is the key point, it must be “gravitationally dominant.” In doing so it must clear it's own neighborhood. That means that there are no objects larger than itself nearby. There are several trans-Neptunian objects that dwarf Pluto several times over. Also Pluto takes a ridiculously long time to orbit Sol (our local star, the Sun). It takes 248.6 Terran years for Pluto to orbit the sun. This means that it wasn't even one Earth year old when it was declassified as a planet. In cosmic terms it was barely out of its adolescence. Though Pluto does have natural satellites (Charon, Nix, Hydra, P4, and P5) the mere presence of them is not enough to elevate Pluto to planetary status. The presence of these natural satellites doesn't count for much. Mercury and Venus have no satellites, and yet they are full-fledged planets. What Pluto does qualify as is a “dwarf planet.”

The IAU defines a dwarf planet in similar, but slightly altered terms.

First, it must orbit a star. Okay, that's pretty straightforward there.

Second, it must have a spherical shape due to hydrostatic equilibrium. Pluto is good on that criterion as well.

Third, it must clear it's orbit.

Fourth, it must not be a satellite.

In other words; Pluto is defined as dwarf planet by what it is not, not what it is. The main differences between the two classes of planets are not necessarily size-based (per the IAU's definition) rather it is based on orbital path. The size issue is more one that astronomers use are part of their anti-Pluto arguments. One that does make sense, as Pluto is basically a small comet without a tail. If it were ignited, it would have been Comet Pluto, and been a more rare visitor than Hally's eponymous comet. It may be a dwarf planet to some, but to call it that would be refer to it as a planet at all.

In conclusion I agree that Pluto is not a planet, or even a dwarf planet. It should properly be referred to as a trans-Neptunian object. That tells us immediately what it is, and what it is not. It is an object that is beyond the orbit of Neptune. It does not clear it's own orbit. And it is part of the Kuiper Belt. It's greater claim to fame should not be that it was once thought of as a planet, but that it is residue from the creation of the solar system. Pluto is a bit of left-over building material that was not used to make a rocky, Earth-like planet, or serve as the core of a Jovian gas giant. Instead, it is there as a reminder of what could have been...and what once was. In that instance further study of this trans-Neptunian object is required. By understanding Pluto we will understand the nature of the our solar system. We will have a sort of baby picture of where we came from...and a preview of where we might be going.  

 Works Cited

Comins, Neil F. Discovering The Essential Universe (Second edition). pp. 138-140. New York.

W.H. Freeman and Company. 2004. Print.

“IAU 2006 General Assembly.” International Astronomical Union Website. IAU. N.D. Web.

http://www.iau.org/news/pressreleases/detail/iau0603/  

“Pluto, Perception & Planetary Politics.” Jewitt, David and Luu, Jane X.

Daedalus, Vol. 136, No. 1, On Nonviolence & Violence (Winter, 2007), pp. 132-136. MIT Press American Academy of Arts & Sciences. http://www.jstor.org/stable/20028095

“The Problem with Pluto: Conflicting Cosmologies and the Classification of Planets.” Messeri, Lisa R. Social Studies of Science, Vol. 40, No. 2 (April 2010), pp. 187-214. Sage Publications, Ltd. Stable  http://www.jstor.org/stable/25677402

Piantadosi, Claude A. Mankind Beyond Earth: The History, Science, and Future of Human Space Exploration. Columbia University Press, January 2013. Digital.

 http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.7312/pian16242

Yeomans, Donald K. Near-Earth Objects: Finding Them Before They Find Us. New Jersey. Princeton University Press, November 2012. Digital.

http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt1r2fck .  

Blogger's Note: The images in this post did not accompany my original paper. They were added by me for some extra flair. My final grade: 10 out of 10! 

  Text Copyright R.J.X. Joyce 2015
All images are taken from NASA. 

Resuming Flights

We here at Plastic Spacemen are proud to announce that we will be resuming flights into cyberspace, interstellar space, and beyond. The order of the day will variety of topics ranging from science fiction, science fact, and of course poseable people made of plastic...and various other materials.

Flights will be taking off in T-Minus one week and counting.

Entry#13: Playgore!

I remember those gore-soaked afternoons summer. It was a time of vampires, monsters, mad scientists, and Chef Boyardee ravioli! I will never forget the eldritch nightmares that were spawned on the kitchen table. Nor, will I forget the very messy cleanup that followed. 

How many of you had the Count Creepyhead and Friends Playset? If you said, “No,” then you were missing out. Call your parents, or therapist, and complain that you had a deprived childhood. This was, and still is, the ultimate Playdough set, bar none! Alright, so the Star Wars and D.C. Comics Super Friends playsets are nothing to sneeze at. But the Count Creepyhead and Friends set allowed you to do something those other sets didn’t. It allowed you to play with the very forces of life itself! The Count Creepyhead and Friends set was a monster factory in a box! 

The set-up was simple enough. You have a skull-faced Dracula doll dressed in a fetching cloak with scalloped sleeves (think Batman, but MORE gothic!) The doll had arms that when lowered would push a plunger into the hollow skull! Sounds sufficiently ghoulish enough, right? But here’s the cool part: the hollow skull had openings for the eyes, nose, mouth, and fractures at the back of the skull. It was from these orifices that play dough would stream out! The protrusions were long and snake-like! 

But wait, that’s not even the coolest part! The coolest part was this…the skull-face had interchangeable molds, each one depicted a different classic film monster! The set included Dracula, Lady Dracula, The Mummy, and The Wolfman. It was a who’s who of Universal Monsters (albeit in their public domain formats). Sadly, there was no Frankenstein’s monster to be found.  

The kids these days will never know the simple pleasures of filling a Dracula face mold with crimson Playdough. Or, the intensity of a Mummy made of ethereal green Playdough. Best of all, once you got tired of their visage, you could…dare I say it…EXPLODE THEIR FACES! Yes, you could make their faces explode, fall off, or melt! You simply remove the mold, and the plastic toupee/cover. You then gently push down on those arms, and presto; you have a series of vile snakes or viscera pouring forth from the facial orifices!  

The kit also came with three kinds of Playdough; bloody red, zombie green, cadaver purple, and bone white. Personally, I preferred to use the red. However, one could create significantly fun gore with a mix of red and purple. The kit also included a small purple axe. It was a medieval looking thing; long handled, blunt-edged, and with a spike on the end. This could be used to clean out the skull, or trim excess off the molds. It was a wondrously morbid time to be a kid. And one could have all sorts of fun with this Playdough set. I wish I still had it.

I have my memories at least. But I also have an Amazon account! To the online store I shall fly through the night, and reclaim Dracula’s exploding head!  

Text copyright Johnny Zombie 2013

The original commercial from Kenner! 

Entry #12: Providence, or Bust!

Eldritch History in the Making! 

Good evening, fiends! 

A most momentous even will occur this August 20th. The unveiling of the H.P. Lovecraft bronze bust will occur in Providence, Rhode Island.

The project was initiated by artist and filmmaker Bryan Moore. Moore has previously sculpted and cast bronzes of Abdul Al-Hazred, Brown Jenkin, and Lovecraft himself. He’s also adapted The Cool Air into a short film. He sells his wares through the Arkham Bazaar website (The Bizarre Bazaar). The same site is operated by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society. Moore’s bronze pieces are among the most detailed and life-like I’ve ever seen. His incredible depictions of the Cthulhu mythos are worthy of even the most jaded art collector, or experienced horror fan. 

Moore reached his anticipated goal of 30,000 dollars in only three days! The kickstarter-based campaign was so successful that Moore extended the monetary goal to 35,000. It took no time at all before that goal was reached as well. This would have seemed a pipedream only ten years ago. Now, artists, filmmakers, writers, and the like can independently fund projects with ease. All it takes is a click of the mouse.

The project also received sponsorship from Fangoria Magazine, Lionsgate Films, and Scream Factory DVDs. 

Rewards for donations were very generous, and far ranging. They included limited edition t-shirts, a Mike Mignola sketch of Hellboy, and dinner with filmmaker Stuart Gordon (of Reanimater, and Dreams in the Witch House fame).  

The bronze bust of Lovecraft will be installed on the grounds of the Athenaeum Library in Providence. Lovecraft himself was a patron of that library, and often relied on it for research material. In addition to the realistic depiction of Lovecraft, the statue will bare his famous epitaph, “I am Providence!”

So far, 2013 has been a good year for both Lovecraftians, and horror fans of all stripes. The unveiling of the statue is a massive step for all horror-kind! The installation of a Lovecraft statue is long overdue. His influence is so vast and diverse, that Lovecraft is rightly considered, “The Father of Modern Horror.” 

How, he is immortalized for eternity. 

Or, until Cthulhu comes! 




CLICK HERE to donate!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/66144730/the-hp-lovecraft-bronze-bust-project

Entry#9: One Smutty Saga

One Smutty Saga! 

ITunes recently took some heat for a decision they didn’t make. Comixology, the web-based death dealer to comics--I mean, virtual comic book store--committed a random act of censorship. They pulled issue #12 of Brian K.Vaughan and Fiona Staples’ Saga. The popular book is now a mainstay of Image Comics best selling titles (such as Spawn, and The Walking Dead). It tells the story of forbidden love, set against an interplanetary war. It’s a sci-fi and fantasy mash-up of Romeo and Juliet. And while the comic features some violence, a bit of nudity, and occasional sexual content, it was banned for only a postage stamp’s worth of porn. Two panels depicting fellatio were all it took. But this wasn’t the usual male-on-female content most readers shrug off. Instead, it depicted a same-sex encounter (of the third kind). Despite previous issues that have contained more in-your-face content, this was considered too taboo. Comixology pulled issue #12 from their site as a precautionary measure. 

Where does iTunes fit in with this? They got the blame because subscribers on iPad and similar devices were unable to download the issue. Comixology felt that it would not pass muster with iTunes’ standards of conduct. Oddly enough, splatter fests like The Walking Dead are regularly available through Comixology. I guess the sight of scribbled wang was too much for them. Comixology wasn’t told by iTunes to take down the comic. They just assumed iTunes would put the kabosh on it. You know what they say about assuming things, don’t you? 

 The end result is that fellow comics creators and fans went ballistic. Vaughan himself felt it was unfair. He then urged fans to buy actual print copies from their local comic shop. That’s a boon for comics fans (and shops), and a bane for Comixology (destroyer of all worlds). An already popular series just might have its first ultra-collectable controversial issue…for the time being. But don’t you buy none of that EBay b.s.! Save your money for the second printing! And make sure to save up for a magnifying glass too. The penile porn is that small. That’s what she said! The offending image is only seen for two panels on the first two pages. 

This brings us to the question of censorship in media. That’s another topic for another post. There has been a lot of thought, time, and effort granted to this subject. I just don’t have the time for it here. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m against censorship of this kind. I believe that grown adults should have the right to see, read, or listen to what they want, as long as it harms none. But I think in this case the real issue goes beyond censorship. I think it speaks more about maturity, as it does sexuality. Would the book have been pulled if it depicted heterosexual sex? The answer to that is, “Probably not.” It’s safe to say that Saga got slagged because of simulated same-sex activity (try saying that three times fast!) I don’t think Image’s new title Sex (with explicit guy-on-girl shagging) would suffer a similar fate. 

One could also suggest that this was an attention-seeking gimmick on Vaughan and Staples’ part. One wouldn’t be far off the mark. While Vaughan admits that it wasn’t solely to titillate or shock, he knew it would raise eyebrows. 

"Unfortunately, because of two postage stamp-sized images of gay sex, Apple is banning tomorrow’s SAGA #12 from being sold through any iOS apps. This is a drag, especially because our book has featured what I would consider much more graphic imagery in the past, but there you go. Fiona and I could always edit the images in question, but everything we put into the book is there to advance our story, not (just) to shock or titillate, so we’re not changing s**t."
--Brian Vaughan, via Twitter. 

This also brings me to another point. While I understand age appropriateness in media (example: I’d NEVER let a child look at a Playboy). I don’t understand why adults would be shocked by illustrated nudity. It seems to be a real problem for some people. 

I used to read Heavy Metal in my twenties. Though it’s been a while since I’ve read it, I kept all my back issues. The sexual content in that magazine is diverse. It ranges anywhere from the sexy, to the surreal. Simon Bisley will pencil large, melon-like breasts on his women. In contrast to Bisley, Luis Royo will paint realistic depictions of the feminine form. Bisley goes for the comedic, almost burlesque effect. Royo seeks out a stark, Gothic fantasy. Whether you like it or not is all a matter of taste according to the reader. I like both artists, but prefer Royo’s artwork. I’ve always been a fan of realistic art, even in fantasy settings. But at the same time, I don’t mind cartoonist-style work either. Again, it depends on the work, and what kind of art is best suited for it. If Heavy Metal isn’t your sort of thing, that’s ok. Nobody will require you to look at illustrated mammary. But the option should be there for those who don’t mind a little skin.

Heavy Metal is marketed to an adult audience. Its subtitle reads, “The Adult-Illustrated Fantasy Magazine.” It is sold in clear plastic wrap, so that potentially offensive images aren’t seen by immature eyes. This is a sensible truce between the publisher, and the bookseller. In the shop where I work we take a similar precaution with related material. It helps to save us grief. But it also helps to save the publisher. The last thing anybody wants is a book burning crusade over penciled knockers…or, for that matter, penciled trouser snake. Comic book readers are a diverse crowd; there’s something for everyone on those racks. I believe that it should be that way in every bookstore. But I also believe in being mindful of what is age-appropriate. 

This brings us again to the question of appropriate images and words. That’s for the customer to decide for themselves. In the case of youngsters, it’s up to the parents to decide. Once the kid comes of age, it becomes their turn to decide for themselves what they want. 

In that case, I’ll close with this…”To each their own. Let us see what we choose to see. Let us read what we choose to read.” 

And now…

The “offending” images from Saga #12. Judge for yourself. 

Text copyright Johnny X. 2013. 

Entry#8: Deja Vu Burnout!

Déjà vu burnout


I had a very interesting conversation at work the other day. Major Tom, Captain Steve, and I were talking about spoilers. We weren’t talking about the usual spoilers, like when someone gives away the ending of a film. Instead we were talking about cultural spoilers. Sometimes you can be so familiar with something that it becomes clichéd; even if you haven’t read it, heard it, or seen it. Some movies, books, and music become so heavily referenced that we become overly familiar with them. This familiarity causes the work to become predictable, even if you haven’t experienced it. 

A prime example of this for me is Frankenstein. I love Frankenstein. I had the Remco action figure when I was a kid. I watched the Boris Karloff movies I lot. And I feel that Karloff’s performance in the original Universal films is superb.  I really dig Peter Cushing as the titular doctor in the Hammer films. However, I can’t sit through reading the book.

Major Tom had asked if it was the writing style, or the language? 

No, it’s not that. I’m used to that style of writing. What gets me is that I’m so familiar with the story that I lose interest in it. Even though I haven’t read the book, I still know what happens. 

Captain Steve suggested that I really don’t know what happens. But I really do know what happens. I know it from commentaries about the novel, and various documentaries. I’ve been mostly spoiled for it. 

Frankenstein is so ingrained in not just our culture, but also world culture. Even if you haven’t read Mary Shelley’s novel, you are already spoiled for it. It is one of the most popular novels of all time, and rightly so. The portion of it that I have read is stunningly beautiful. It was way ahead of its time. It also signifies the birth of the horror and sci-fi genres respectively. If it wasn’t for Frankenstein, we’d have no horror. We’d have no sci-fi. And on top of that, Mary Shelley was only eighteen when she wrote it! She is the mother of all monsters. 

As for the adaptations of Frankenstein, they are a mixed bag. They run the gamut of glorious (the James Whale directed originals) to the gory (Kenneth Branagh’s version from 1995). Hammer Films made a whole series of Frankenstein movies; in which Peter Cushing, as Baron Frankenstein, was the lead. These films took a drastic departure from the original novel; especially since they were about the mad scientist himself, and not the creature. They are fun pastiches in their own right. And while Whale’s adaptation isn’t faithful to the source material, it is the standard by which all other adaptations are judged. Karloff’s performance is one of the best every committed to film. And Colin Clive was both frightening, and magnetic, as Baron Frankenstein. There was also the underappreciated, but wonderful, The Bride; starring Sting as Baron Frankenstein, Jennifer Beals as the titular Bride, and Clancy Brown as the Monster.

All of these films have one thing in common: The Monster is sympathetic. Frankenstein is the villain. This same thread runs through Mary Shelley’s original novel. Though unlike Whale’s film, the monster isn’t as childlike in her novel. He’s well-spoken, worldly, and somewhat dangerous. Still, you can’t blame him for wanting his revenge. His own father rejected him out of disgust. This is an echo of Shelley’s own relation ship with her father. She was somewhat of a wild child. So much so, that she eloped at age eighteen with Percy Shelley. And for her mother (also named Mary) she died after giving birth to Mary. Yes, she wrote horror, and lived it. Part of me feels as much empathy for Mrs. Shelley herself, as I do her most famous creation. I feel that I need to both honor her, and satisfy my curiosity, by reading her most famous work.      

However it has gotten to a point where I may never have the patience to read it. I’m so familiar with the story that it has become been-there-done-that territory. This is a real shame, because I’d love to read it through someday. I didn’t encounter the same problem with Dracula by Bram Stoker. I also didn’t encounter the same problem with Stevenson’s Jekyll and Hyde. But I have this stumbling block with Frankenstein. Similarly, I had a mild stumbling block with Dante’s Divine Comedy, but that was eventually overcome. 

What if I were to read something more contemporary? Let’s say Stephen King’s The Shining? Granted, Kubrick’s film is different in tone from the novel. But would I find myself just reading over a book that I’m overly familiar with culturally? One wonders how I’d react if I’d read Shelley’s novel first, before seeing the James Whale version. Though that’d be a neat trick if I could read a Victorian novel before age five!  

Familiarity isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, over-familiarity can be a very bad thing. For example, I can’t listen to a Beatles’ album without being bored. I know the lyrics, the album titles, the track listings, there’s nothing new there. It’s gotten to a point where if I hear a Beatles song I think, “Not this again.” I can probably handle a song or two, but not an entire album. My mind feels numb, and I feel bored. 

I’ve talked with people who couldn’t watch The Godfather the whole way through, because of all the parodies over the years. Though they haven’t seen the movie before, the parodies of Marlon Brando as Don Vito have made it redundant for some people. And we all know the story of Romeo and Juliet. This can make it very difficult for even experienced Shakespeare watchers to sit through. 

There’s also the over-used movie quotes. I could easily live the rest of my life without hearing, “Say hello to my little friend,” ever again. That’s one movie quote that can, and should, be retired. I hate to say it, but, “Luke, I am your father,” is headed there as well. 

In other words: You can have too much of a good thing. 

I sometimes feel that something similar has happened with Star Wars. It’s part of the culture, which is a good thing. But when shows like How I Met Your Mother (and everything else) over-reference it, it becomes a bit stale. Granted, that’s not a fault of Star Wars itself, more the perception of it.

And that brings me back to Frankenstein. Perhaps this has more to do with perception, than the actual novel? Of course it does deal in perception. There’s nothing wrong with the novel. I’ve just been born in a century when the mass media allowed for various adaptations of Frankenstein. On top of that, it is a public domain work; anyone can make a Frankenstein movie (even Andy Warhol). This allowed for the cultural saturation of the novel. This is a good thing, as it has kept the story alive for over one-hundred years. In four years, we’ll have the two-hundredth anniversary of its publication. There’s no sign of the love for this novel diminishing. All writers everywhere wish they could have such longevity and popularity. Mary Shelley wrote other novels, which will be rediscovered in time. But her most popular work is so rich in texture, that scholars are still examining new layers of this work. 

And that brings me to a final thought…

Maybe I have unconsciously cheated myself by not allowing the novel to wash over me?  Just as some people will avoid the most popular books ever written, just because they are popular, I could have denied myself of a great read. In that case, this may have more to do with perception, rather than over familiarity? 

Sometime, before the year is out, I will read Frankenstein in its entirety. And you will all read what I thought of it. 

I promise. 


Text Copyright Johnny X. 2013. 

Some Propellerheads, anyone? Is History Repeating?